[Verse 1]
Hi!
Original Bad Boy on the case, cover your face
Came in the place blowed, and sprayed Puffy with Mase
I laced the weed with insect repellant, better check the smellin'
Eminem starts with E, better check the spelling
With a capital, somebody grab me a Snapple
I got an aspirin capsule trapped in my Adam's apple (hurry up!)
Somebody dropped me on my head, and I'm for sure
That my mother did it, but the bitch won't admit it was her
I slit her stomach open with a scalpel when she was six months
And said, "I'm ready now bitch - ain't you feelin these kicks cunt?"
The world ain't ready for me yet, I can tell
I'll probably have a cell next to the furnace in hell
I'm sicker than sperm cells with syphilis germs
And I'm hotter than my dick is, when I piss and it burns
I kick you in the tummy until you sick to your stomach
And vomit so much blood that your clothes stick to you from it (yuck!)
Hit you in the head with a brick til you plummet
If y'all don't like me, you can suck my dick til you numb it
And all that gibberish you was spittin, you need to kill it
Cause your style is like dying in my sleep, I don't feel it

[Hook]
Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
Is fuckin crazy -- you hear me? Ha?
Is fuckin crazy -- hello, hi!
Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
Is fuckin crazy -- do you hear me?
Is fuckin crazy

[Verse 2]
I'm ice grillin you, starin you down with a gremlin grin
I'm Eminem, you're a fag in a women's gym
I'm Slim, the Shady is really a fake alias
To save me with in case I get chased by space aliens
A brainiac, with a cranium packed, full of more uranium
Than a maniac Saudi Arabian
A highly combustible head, spazmatic
Strapped to a Craftmatic adjustable bed
Laid up in the hospital in critical condition
I flatlined; jumped up and ran from the mortician
High speed, IV full of Thai weed
Lookin Chinese, with my knees stuck together like Siamese
Twins, joined at the groin like lesbians
Uhh, pins and needles, hypodermic needles and pins
I hope God forgives me for my sins -- it probably all depends
On if I keep on killin my girlfriends

[Hook]